I have read tons of parenting magazines, through the 7 1/2 years of motherhood. All these magazines, aside from trying to get you to buy pampers and creams, focus on the positive side of motherhood. No one ever tells you of the things we lose in this journey. Our identity, independence, our careers, the expensive bags for baby bags, The party animal attitude, the high-heels replaced for flats. Yes! we give up much of what makes us who we are, to raise and guide this little person in a world We don't even know how to navigate.
When I turn around and look back at all those years and things I've lost, I realize I wanted to be lost all along. I wanted to give up all the vanities for this life. I wanted to be home cuddling with Janet rather than sweating at a club. I wanted to spend every evening doing homework rather than watching movies. I want to be with her when she's sick to comfort her. I want her to be able to look at her childhood and say the same.
I've got a lot to figure out in this journey, but I know for a fact that this is who I want to be, it’s not all that complicated. It’s about love. Love, and hope.